Dr. Who is going to find me a man at the gym.

Here are my three good things for today:

1.  Star Trek: The Next Generation was playing on one of the televisions at the gym today, followed by Dr. Who.  Clearly there is another mega-nerd who works out at the same time that I do. I must find him or her. I kind of hope it's a him. And that he's cute. I would like a hot nerd as my boyfriend.*

2.  I heard the most recent podcast of Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me today, and for the first time ever, they played recordings of Carl Kasell leaving the message on the voicemail of the winners.  Did I mention the phrase mega-nerd earlier? Okay, just making sure.

3.  I successfully avoided the cookies and doughnuts that were in the kitchen at work.  I feel as though I should be awarded some sort of prize for this. Like how the mayor would give a special medal to a double-amputee if he crawled through a burning house on his leg stumps to save his elderly neighbor's dog, which he had to carry out in his teeth because he needed his arms to pull himself along because he was a double-amputee and had no legs. I mean, honestly, what I did today was no less heroic than that. It's all in your perspective.

*We would both be watching Dr. Who at the gym, and would laugh simultaneously at one of the doctor's witty comments—something like, "I'm the doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!"—and then our eyes would meet over the tricep extension machine and each of us would instantly recognize the other as a kindred spirit. We would bond over our mutual love for sci-fi television, and when I judged the moment to be correct, I would casually drop into the conversation that I want to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.  And if you know what movie the last part of that sentence comes from, I might just marry YOU.

Dependence on Google is a dangerous thing.

So after suffering some pretty intense internet withdrawal (because sometimes you just have to Google something, and when you can't, it hurts) I'm back with three new good things!

1.  The internet is back.  Duh.*

2.  I got my teeth cleaned at the dentist yesterday.  I love the feeling of being able to suck saliva through the small spaces between my lower front teeth now that the plaque has been scraped out. Don't even look at me like that. I BRUSH MY TEETH. Plaque happens.

3.  The office smells so bad that they let everyone go home at 2:00 this afternoon.  It's a strange, curious combination of litter box and dirty fish tank. I can't decide if I want it to go away or not. It's pretty vile, but I really like getting to go home early.

You must have some good things that happened over the past two days while I've been away. Let's hear it.

*And now I finally know what a drum farthingale is. It's unreal. Look it up.

Always pack a falcon in your hurricane survival kit.

Three good things for today:

1.  Alison Heather came back from Australia!  This is enough for three billion good things, but I'll add two more. Just for funsies.

2.  Hurricane Irene could not arrive at a more opportune moment.  Brand new stack of books, and the whole weekend open ahead of me with absolutely no responsibilities. This is perfect reading weather. Although I don't know what it says about me that the only things in my hurricane survival kit are four new books, and some candles so that I can keep reading even if the power goes out. I can't be bothered with anything useful like, say, non-perishible food items or a first aid kit. I think my mom has the food thing under control, though. Unless we run out. Then we would be forced to hunt. But I don't have any weapons... maybe I should throw a falcon in there so it can hunt for me. Yeah, a falcon. That would be good.* I would name him Balthazar and he would sit on my arm.

3.  I did quite a bit of laundry today.  Like, four weeks worth. What a load off my mind! (Yuk yuk.) Seriously though, my hamper is empty and I feel awesome.

Oh, come on, laugh at my jokes. And tell me your three good things, and your hurricane survival plans.

*Oh my gosh WHAT IF THIS HAPPENS—ready? What if we run out of food and, because I planned ahead, I actually have a falcon who can hunt small game for us. I could set up a roasting spit in my backyard (on the lee side of the above-ground pool, of course, to avoid the wind) and cook bunny burgers for the everyone who has run out of food because they weren't as smart as I am and didn't think ahead to capture and train a falcon. I would be the neighborhood hero. After the storm is over they would probably tell the newspapers about how I saved them from starvation, and I might get a medal or something. Oh man, this hurricane is going to be awesome. Please God send me a falcon.

I'm not a plant murderer. I swear.

Three good things for today:

1.  Free lunch at work.  I'm not hard to please.

2.  The plant on my desk is growing new leaves!  This is a HUGE deal, you guys. Some of you know my track record with plants. It is not good.* The stalks have been withering for a couple of weeks now, and I was fully convinced that I had unknowingly committed yet another act of planticide, but upon further inspection today I noticed that new leaves and stalks are beginning to sprout!

3.  My muscles are sore from the gym yesterday.  That means it was a good work-out, right? And it's perfectly fine that I took today off? I can't exercise when I know there's a hurricane coming. I mean, what if the gym suddenly floods? Or the roof blows off? There are just too many uncertainties.

That was my day. How was yours?

*It is disturbingly similar to my track record with all things aquatic. My all-time record for the least amount of time in which I've killed a fish is eighteen hours. I've been on tenterhooks all summer, because some friends of mine went to Australia for two months and left me in charge of their aquarium. There are about thirty fish in there, and by some miracle from the heavens, they are all still swimming. Or at least if one or two have died, the others have at least had the decency to eat them when I wasn't looking and therefore spare me the knowledge of their demise.

The Cone of Uncertainty is only to be discussed under the cover of the Cone of Silence.

My three good things for the day:

1.  I think I've discovered the thing to keep me from getting bored at the gym.  Three words: (1)Harry (2)Potter (3)audiobooks. They helped me when I worked in data entry seven years ago, and they can help through the monotony of thirty minutes on the elliptical now. I don't know what it is about cardio, but it turns me into an attention-deficit squirrel.

2.  I read a news report about Hurricane Irene which stated that the area from North Carolina to Massachusetts remains within "the cone of uncertainty."*  That made me giggle.

3.  It's only half-past six, and I've already done everything I needed to do today.  Including update this blog. AND tomorrow is Friday. Whoa.

So what are yours?

*I'm suddenly feeling very uncertain and I don't know why...

I'll have the Raisin Brahms with a side of cello, please.

My three good things for today:

1.  I had the best lunch break ever.  Around noonish I was sitting at my desk at work, staring at my Benjamin Franklin action figure and wishing he would come to life so that I could ask him how he got the idea for bifocals, when I received a text from my friend Sammi—who was an opera major with me at Purchase—asking if I wanted to get together for dinner in Princeton this evening. (That right there is one of the longest sentences I've ever written. Just FYI.) Unfortunately, I wasn't going to be able to make it, but I asked what she was doing in Princeton (she lives in Cincinnati) and she responded by saying that she was actually in Hopewell at the moment, practicing for a recital with Kyra, her cellist. I just about hit the ceiling because I WORK IN HOPEWELL. Turns out that they were at Kyra's parents' house, which is only a couple of minutes from my office. I went over on my lunch break, and was treated to thirty minutes of Brahms and Bernstein for soprano and cello.* It was so beautiful, and such a wonderful surprise. A completely unexpected oasis of culture in my otherwise monotonous work day.

2.  I got my grammar final back in the mail, for which I earned a score of 92.5%.  I probably could have done better, but it was really hot in the room where we were taking the exam and I kind of just wanted to leave.

3.  I opened a fresh bag of potato chips to augment my dinner this evening.  There's nothing quite like opening a brand new bag of potato chips. I can't quite explain it. My father would understand.

So I had a great day today, and it would be wonderful if you felt like sharing the good things that happened in your day, as well. Don't make me do this all by myself. I'm very shy.

*Seriously, there was a girl playing the cello three feet away from me. I could have kicked it from where I was sitting, it was that close. That sort of thing doesn't happen every day.

Dear Randolph College, I don't think you can handle the level of Cool that's about to hit you . Sincerely, Mack's Sister

My three good things for today:


1.  For a brief, brief moment, all was silent at work this morning.  No radio.  No A/C blowers.  And all the loud people who lack the ability to pick up on social cues had yet to arrive. Bliss.

2.  Earthquake!!!  Only for about five seconds, but still. An earthquake in New Jersey. And as a veteran of California living, where minor tremors and earthquake drills at school are the norm, it was fun to watch my co-workers flip out, run around and ask everyone else if they had felt it too, and call the entire contact list in their phones.*

3.  My awesome brother (the other one) left for college today.  I've managed to keep my level of envy to a dull roar. Oh, to be a college student again. The freedom!  The possibilities! The financial dependence! Look out, Randolph College, you have no idea what's coming your way. My brother can draw the crap out of anything and then write you a kick-ass song about it in less than ten minutes. So get ready.

What are your three good things for today? Tell me! And tell me about your earthquake experience as well I suppose, if you must.

*Don't lie to yourself; you would have felt the same way, and loved every second of it. It's human nature to revel in our moments of superiority. So quit judging me. 

Oh hey, I found Richard Nixon's corpse. It's at the gym.

Three good things for the day:

1.  I told myself I would go to the gym after work, and then I ACTUALLY DID.  Totally worth it, because for once in my life I was prettier than everyone else there and I didn't feel self-conscious at all. I mean, I'll admit that it's not hard to look prettier than everyone else there when "everyone else there" is three old guys who kind of look like Richard Nixon (and when I say "look like Richard Nixon" I mean what Richard Nixon would look like today if you exhumed his body), but I'm not going to let that diminish my victory in being the prettiest person in the room.

2.  Today is another day closer to the two month anniversary of me keeping my room completely clean.  A place for everything, and everything in its place. I even make my bed every morning. Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart. (Wait, what's that you say? Laundry? Shhhh. Don't worry about it.)

3.  A new episode in the British History podcast that I subscribe to became available this morning.  I'm saving it for an emergency. Like when I'm really bored at work. I'm not sure what I did before podcasts became available. I like to call that period of time the Dark Years.

Plenty more good things today, but I'm pretty sure that the human attention span is barely long enough to read all the way through three.* What are your three good things?

*I would say that, as a species, our average attention span probably falls somewhere between a hamster and a well-trained dolphin. 

Men's gymnastics . The eye-candy factor is unbelievable .

Three good things for today:

1.  Crazy thunderstorm outside!  I'm safe indoors on the sofa with a book. Can life get better? I submit that it cannot. (Okay, okay, I'm actually on the sofa with Lappy. Duh.)

2.  My awesome brother left for Africa today.  Spending two years in Namibia with the Peace Corps. 'Cause that's how the Kernans roll. I taught him everything he knows.

3.  In addition to being curled up on the sofa with Lappy, I am also watching men's gymnastics on TV.  Hello, gentlemen. Your ridiculous muscles and keen sense of balance are kind of freaking me out right now. And also making me wish that one of you were my boyfriend.  Except you're all so short...

Sorry this is a bit hasty, I'm prepping the Heather House for their homecoming, and am kind of in a rush. I still want to hear your three good things though, so keep them coming!

Blind Squirrel Bakes Brownies Unassisted as Family Looks on in Amazement .

Here are my three good things for the day:

1.  I baked a delicious batch of ginger and chocolate chip brownies without assistance.  I usually avoid the kitchen like a bat avoids daylight, so this is kind of a big deal. First off, the fact that I was even motivated to bake at all is a miracle in itself. Second, I am very nearly the world's most incompetent chef*. People constantly overestimate my ability to perform simple food-related tasks that even a blind squirrel could probably accomplish without too much disaster. (Alison, remember that time that you asked me to take the chicken out of the freezer and put it in a pan of water to defrost? I'll bet you thought that there was no way I could screw that up. You fool.) But I brought my A-game today. The Force was with me, and I turned out those brownies like June Cleaver on her best day AND cleaned up the kitchen afterwards. I even swept the floor. You may praise me. 


2.  Borders is going out of business, so I went over this afternoon and bought five books for an extremely reasonable price.  So I have this problem where I can't go into a bookstore without buying something. Borders is my current enabler until it closes forever, at which point I will be forced into involuntary detox. Maybe that will make me pay my library fine so that I can start going back to the good old Hunterdon County Public Library again.

3.  I wrapped a birthday present like a present-wrapping ninja.  I even used two different kinds of ribbon. Booyah.

Have you thought of your three good things? It's so easy. Like taking candy from a baby. That's right, I said it.

*Seriously though, if God Almighty spoke to you from his little house in the clouds and told you to cook him a passable meal within sixty minutes or else the world would end, and you could choose either me or a cucumber as your assistant, I would go with the cuke. It will cause you less trouble, and if you fail, you'll at least have it to munch on while you wait for the Apocalypse.    

Joe Pesci looks like Wayne Newton if you squint your eyes

1.  This morning I dried my hair outside in the sunshine while playing my ukulele.  Totally felt like a character in a fantasy novel on a grand adventure, waking up outside and then drying her hair after bathing in the river while waiting for the water in the cooking pot to boil for her tea made from some weird, random root.  Except for the ukulele part.  That bit felt more like I was a traveling Hawaiian gypsy.  But whatever, I had to practice my Mama Cass!  Wait, is "traveling gypsy" redundant?  

2.  I just made a s'more INDOORS by toasting the marshmallow over the flame on my gas stove.  Did you guys know that the mallow can still catch on fire even if you hold it a good eight inches above the flame?  Crazy!  Almost set the kitchen on fire, as I was trying to watch The Sandlot at the same time that I was toasting the mallow.

3.  I think I just saw Wayne Newton in a TV commercial.  No wait, it was Joe Pesci.  Shut up.  I was looking at it quick.  Whatev, it's still a good thing.  Home Alone is one of my favorite movies.

A Little Bit of Happiness

Welcome to the Three Good Things blog!  This is a daily exercise in positive thinking.  The goal is to write down three good things that happen each day.  (Or at least a few times a week; let's not get carried away, here.)  It's such a quick little thing, but it really can change your mindset, as over time you'll find that you focus more on the positive things that happen in your day rather than the negative.  That's not to say that you'll never have a bad day (bad days are allowed), but I think you'll be surprised at how much this small exercise will change your thought process.

I’ve been doing this for a few months just by myself, but it’s such a great way to add a little happiness to one’s life that I want everyone to play!  Write down your three good things in your diary, your day planner, spell them out in magnetic letters on your fridge, or, if you feel like sharing, post them as a comment here.  I will not force participation, but I would love to hear your three good things whenever you feel like it.  Here are my rules:

Rule #1.  Repeats are allowed, but strongly discouraged.  Try to be creative.  I’ll admit that this is the most tempting rule to break; I mean, let’s face it—my life isn’t exactly a thrilling adventure novel right now, so I understand.  I won’t judge you if you repeat yourself, but do try to think of new things as often as you can.  It helps one stay positive, and I think you’ll be surprised at how many good things you begin to notice. 

Rule #2.  No thing is too big or too small.  Whether you’ve just followed a double rainbow all the way to its end and discovered a portal that leads to the magical land of the unicorns (oh my god please let this happen), or your favorite kind of cereal is on sale at the market—if it makes you feel good, it counts. 

Rule #3.  Good things that hurt other people don’t count.  This may be kind of a fine line to walk.  For example, the other day I took great pleasure in driving at the exact speed limit all the way to work, because the driver in the car behind me was clearly suffering from an advanced case of Road Rage and it was really fun to watch his over-the-top freak-outs in my rear view mirror every time I purposely lingered for an extra second at a stop sign.  This situation is something that I consider to be borderline, but acceptable, because although it was (admittedly) slightly mean-spirited, no one was hurt.  Also, it tickled me and he probably needed a lesson in patience anyway.  However, something like, say, stealing eleven babies from a hospital would be entirely unacceptable.  It might be a great day for you if you are a compulsive psycho baby-snatcher, but if you are a new mother whose baby was just stolen, it was most likely not a very pleasant experience.  

So there's the introductory post, and the rules of the game.  My lists start tomorrow.  I really want to see how many people I can get to do this, because it really works.  Feel free to follow the blog, and please pass it on to your friends and family.  And let me know about your three good things!  I can't wait to hear them!!